If certain mental structures can set you up for failure, how much more can your mind be set up for success with the correct mental structures? Often, we are one choice away from the life we dream of, but we avoid near-life (often more than near-death) experiences that require risk and possible failure. Existence is passive, but life happens by choice. Mind Shift provides you with the mental architecture you need to redesign your inner world for success, and for the life you long for. The battle is not between good and bad choices. It’s between the easy good and the hard best. Your thoughts are the most important roadmap to your future, and it is essential to create the mental structures that will lead you to your most fulfilled life.

When we are young, we prioritize things above all else. In a room full of toys, children often choose the toy that another child is holding. Even as adults, we often envy others’ belongings and prioritize growing our material possessions. And as we grow older, we realize the value of experiences as they add unique enhancements to our lives. But ultimate meaning in life does not come from experiences or things – it comes from the people we take with us on the journey. Your greatest mistakes will not cost you your money, they will cost you the people you love dearly. If we realize our greatest dreams and accumulate all the things we desire but we sacrifice the health of our relationships on the way, those broken relationships will steal the joy. When people are the priority, we build a future focused on what matters most.

Many of us wait for an audience to show up before we attempt to be our greatest selves. But if an audience finds you before you’ve done the necessary preparation, you will not be ready for the moment. To be great, it is essential to prepare in private before you’re given an audience. Prepare to bring the best at a moment’s notice. Prepare for the impossible. Prepare for your purpose. When you do the work for yourself before anyone sees, the audience will take care of itself. If you want to be in it for the long-run, you need to allow greatness to take its time. Fame moves on the fast track, but greatness is always patient with the process because it trusts the hard work.

Throughout life, we are often convinced that true leadership is measured by how well we retain our teams over time. But true leadership sifts teams because the vision is clear and the standards have been communicated. The future cannot be created when leaders get stuck convincing people to follow their vision who are unwilling to change or get on board. Many leaders begin with a movement that changes the world, but eventually they allow the movement to be turned into an institution to please the crowd that is unwilling to change. The future is created by those who are willing to make decisions based on who they want to serve instead of who they have with them at the moment. When we come to terms with the reality that not everyone belongs to our vision, we are able to move fearlessly into the future without compromise.

By definition, humans crave safety and certainty. But leaders have to be willing to ‘eat the mushroom first’ and be living proof of the validity of a vision that has never been pursued before. If you are playing it safe, you are playing to lose. If no one goes first, there is no future. Who could have guessed Jeff Bezos would create an empire out of his original idea for Amazon? His peers likely thought he was crazy for pursuing an idea that had never been executed successfully before. Though our loved ones will often discourage us from taking risks due to the problems they can create, the future is built by those who are unwilling to sacrifice their vision for the approval of others. They won’t get it until they see it and you won’t see it until you get after it. You are meant to become the proof of the validity of your vision.

It is an obvious reality that life is difficult. But no matter what external barriers you face in your life, the stories you tell yourself internally will always be your most limiting factor. Most of these limitations are created by our inner fears, doubts, and insecurities. But the only ceilings that will continue to exist in your life are the ones that you allow to define you. And though you can blame others for the state of your life, it is only your responsibility to make your future different from your past. The ceilings in your life can either become your boundary or your calling – it’s up to you to decide. Your environment can either be the limiting factor of your success, or the fuel you need to break through to a level you have never elevated to before. At the end of the day, you are your own ceiling.

Talent has a way of tainting our reality. Similar to a popular drug called ayahuasca, our talent gives us the illusion that we are superhuman and untouchable. But the opposite couldn’t be more true. When we bet on our talent, overlook our character, and underestimate the power of grit – we set ourselves up for failure in the long run. At some point, we all come to the end of our talent to discover the true nature of our character. While talent moves fast, character prepares you for the long journey ahead. Where talent acts as a hallucinogen, character keeps you honest with yourself about how you need to grow. People who see themselves honestly are not blinded by their talent, but fueled by a desire to achieve greatness through hard work and commitment.

Spoiler alert: no one knows what they’re doing. When Erwin asked a successful friend who created a billion-dollar business what his plan for success was, he answered “We didn’t have a plan.” He was surprised at his answer, and how he chose to learn as he grew his business instead of waiting until he had all of the answers. Though we often feel as though our lack of knowledge or experience will disqualify us, it can compel us to be the most teachable person in the room. The person who is certain about what they’re doing is often in a way more dangerous position, assuming they already know it all. The person that has no idea what they’re doing is always at an advantage if they’re fueled by the desire to keep learning. Let what you don’t know be your competitive advantage because thankfully, no one knows what they’re doing – and neither do you.

Bitterness is a silent killer. If given the power, it will slowly poison your soul and cost you the gift of intimacy with others and the power of being truly known. When you choose to be bitter, you may think you are protecting yourself from future hurt. But in reality, bitterness always leaks into every other area of our lives. It can never be contained to just one person or event. If bitterness is the poison, forgiveness is the cure. Forgiveness is an expression of love and choosing it is the only way to keep your negative experiences from writing your story. Seeing forgiveness as a strength is one of the most powerful mind shifts you can ever make. Forgiveness is not an emotion. It is an art form – an elegant expression of love.

The greatest way to measure the condition of your soul is not by what you say about yourself, but what you say about others. This is because you do not see the world as it is, but as you are. If you’re consistently seeing beauty in the world around you, it is because you have cultivated beauty inside of your soul. And by contrast, if you can’t help but see the negative in those around you, it is because you hold negativity in your soul and exude it everywhere you go. When you decide to become a beacon of hope, love, and compassion, you attract those who live at the same frequency. You cannot expect others to be different unless you first decide to change. As you change, your perspective shifts about the world around you and suddenly you attract the very people you were looking for all along.

Growing up in the US education system, we are told from an early age that the formula to success is found in memorizing answers, filling in the blanks, and essentially – fulfilling someone else’s agenda. Often, we are not taught to think creatively in our area of expertise. Instead, we learn to simulate our thinking and (attempt to) become an expert at every subject. In the real world, this type of thinking doesn’t take us far. Outside of the school walls, we must learn how to adapt and change when uncertainty strikes. We must learn what we need to know to create the life we want. We learn over time that it is essential to be average at most things to ensure we can be an expert in the areas that matter most to us. We must identify our areas of greatness and stop wasting our energy where it does not belong.

When we have little in the areas of wealth, fame, and power – life can be quite simple. We don’t need to manage great wealth, lead a company of people well, or fear having our worst moments announced to the public. Though many of us dream of success, often we forget the weight that it carries. Though we think success will change our lives for the better, success does not promise happiness. Rather, it gives you the power and freedom to become who you really are. It is essential to become who you need to be now to maintain the level of success you dream of. And though fame, power, and wealth are great outcomes, they are never great objectives. If you are chasing these outcomes to gain a sense of meaning, you will always be running on empty. It’s highly important to find meaning now, and bring that meaning into every area of your life as you grow.

You will always hear that the key to the best life is a life of balance. But making your life fully balanced is completely unrealistic. Love is not balanced. When you love someone, everything is leveraged in that singular direction. You focus your energy on serving that person and your affections are set toward them singularly. Often, you don’t need more balance. You need alignment and intention. You need to find a purpose and pursue it relentlessly. If you’re postured to do good in the world – you cannot be too kind, too compassionate, or too forgiving. But on the contrary, there is no healthy amount of greed, bitterness, duplicity, unfaithfulness, narcissism - not even a drop because it poisons everything else. But ambition is something you simply cannot have too much of if you are ambitious about the right things.